BAZIL FARRIN, A.K.A COMPLETE CINNAMON ROLL OF MY LIFE

I’m back!

I was just in New York City for a week doing a Broadway workshop that culminated in an Off-Broadway showcase which was SO MUCH FUN. My family and I went to see Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812 which is a musical based off of a small chunk of War and Peace. It was absolutely gorgeous, guys, and guess who was Pierre? That’s right. Freakin’ Okieriete Onaodowan─more commonly referred to as simply Oak─the guy who played Hercules Mulligan in the original cast of Hamilton.* IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL AND I GOT HIS SIGNATURE AND I CRIED.

*Hamilton the musical is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. If you haven’t listened to it, then stop reading this right now and go do it. I could quote that musical til the cows come home.

Anyway.

That’s why I haven’t given you all the promised post about one of my WIP─The Institute of the Touched─characters, but never fear. I am here now, and you are too, and so now you are forced to sit there and read this. MWAHAHAHA.

I asked you all which of the six MCs you would most like to hear from and the overwhelming consensus seemed to be Bazil Farrin. So today I’m going to ask Bazil a series of questions and he will answer them to the best of his abilities. I’ll be in bold like this and Bazil will be in italics, like this. Ya’ll ready? Here we go!

Hello, Bazil! Thanks for coming.

Good afternoon, Eden.

Could you tell us a bit about yourself?

Oh. Um. Yes. I’m eighteen years old. I live a few blocks away from where I work in Akkerdam, Chaxholm─I work at Farrin Books. My uncle Marcus owns it. Um…

Do you live alone, or with anyone? 

Oh, I live alone. *laughs self-consciously* My parents… died… so… but. I’m engaged.

Engaged? Well, how… how exciting. Aren’t you a bit young for all that, though?

Sophie says no. Sophie Markham. She’s my fiance, you see, and she’s the most beautiful woman in the world and also always right. That’s what she tells me, anyway.

I see… moving on, Bazil. Do you like your job?

Yes, I love it! I get to sit in silence surrounded by books all day… I take care of Uncle Marcus’s finances and also, once a week, read aloud to the local children for an hour or so, just to give us all something to do on our slow day. Claudia always picks the book, because it makes me too nervous when I do it. I want them to love it, not be bored. She’s very good at choosing. Honestly, I can’t imagine a better job then the one that I have now.

I’m pretty sure that that’s the most I’ve ever heard you speak, and I created you.

…excuse me?

Never mind. That sounds lovely. Now for some general things. Do you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert?

*blushes* Introvert.

Pink or purple?

Purple.

Up or down?

So sorry, but why does this…? 

Did you have a happy childhood?

I… I would say that I did. My father died before I was born but my mother didn’t die until I was four years old, and so I do remember a very few things about her. I remember that she would take me on walks around Lower Chaxholm and sometimes even Upper Chaxholm, where we would look at all of the enormous, colorful houses where the wealthier merchants and the Queen’s Court lives. There was a pond there, I remember, and she would let me feed the ducks…  Then, after she… passed away… and I moved in with Uncle Marcus, things were still good. He’s the one who taught me to read, and he let me have free reign of the shop at a very early age. I have pleasant memories of my childhood.

What is your biggest fear?

My biggest fear, I think, is speaking. Words. With my voice. Specifically to beings that are homo sapiens that have eyes and mouths that speak rude things back. Not all homo sapiens, I suppose. I actually quite like the people that I work with ─and Uncle Marcus of course─they’re sort of like… like a family I never had. Nona’s my little sister, Hali, my brother, and Claudia is mother to all of us… 

Have you ever wished to be Touched─to have magical powers?

…yes. I─there’s something so special about it, isn’t there, even if half of the people I know are Touched. It’s like they have something extra, some extra power or… or electricity to them that’s uncontainable. It’s beautiful. So, to answer your question, yes. Yes, I have.

Well, you’re in luck, then. Sort of. Not completely, but a little bit, if you know what I mean.

So sorry, Eden, but I have absolutely no idea what you mean.

You will.

I… oh. Ok.

Well, that concludes out interview for today! Thanks a lot, Bazil! Don’t be freaked out if your whole life is turned upside down!

Yes, um. I won’t. Goodbye.

 

So that was Bazil Farrin, my lovelies! In a few days I’ll be interviewing Anuska, so… Read on!

 

 

 

RIP IT OR SHIP IT PART TWO!

I’m back! And I’m on time! What sorcery is this? Even I don’t know.

It is time for Rip it or Ship it part the second, everybody, so let’s get cracking!

But before we do, some things to clarify for the people that I tagged yesterday and whoever else might end up doing this same thing:

  • You do not have to use the same characters that I used. It’s totally up to you! Even though these characters are all A+, I’ll forgive you.
  • Make sure you link your post back to me,  pretty please with sugar on top!
  • And don’t forget to tag people at the end of yours! (That was self-explanatory, I’m aware. Just shut you cakehole, I’m tired.)

Rip it or Ship it Part Two!

#1: Howl from Howl’s Moving Castle and Sophie Hatter from Howl’s Moving Castle. Apparently the Gods of Rip it of Ship it have chosen to smile down upon me on this day, for they have blessed me once again with an actual ship. HAHA. And it’s a cute one, to boot! Howl and Sophie are adorable together. Ship name: Sowl…? Huh. Oh well. I still ship it. Howl could I not?*

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*Look ma, I’m funny

#2: Inej Ghaffa from Six of Crows and Thorn from The Lunar Chronicles. Oh ABSOLUTELY NOT GOOD SIR. Can you imagine this? Inej is so hardcore and serious and doesn’t take anyone’s crap, and is generally just an amazing, scary woman, and THORN. I love Thorn, don’t get me wrong, but he’s a HUGE baby, and Inej would definitely be driven to homicide. That would be then end of Captain Carswell Thorn. Ship name: Thinej? Inorn? This ship is RIPPED.

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#3: Cress from The Lunar Chronicles and Jem Carstairs from The Infernal Devices. AW MY BABY JEM AND MY BABY CRESS TOGETHER YES SHIP SHIP SHIP SHIP SHIP. I don’t think you understand how CUTE this would be. They are both such smol cinnamon rolls, and just think how your heart would melt into a little puddle of goo whenever you saw them together. Yes, by the Angel, I ship this! Ship name: Jess─woah, that’s a little too close to Jessa for comfort isn’t it? Oh well, because I’m not going to find a new one because #lazy.

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#4: Wolf from The Lunar Chronicles and Jacin from The Lunar Chronicles. NOPE. They’d shred each other. Literally. Rip. (And they might all be from The Lunar Chronicles now because I am a terrible mixer/shuffler person.) Ship name: Jolf. No thank you, my friend.

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#5: Cinder from The Lunar Chronicles and Harry Potter from Harry Potter. Holy COW no. Cinder, girl, you’re way better than that. Aim higher. Shoot for the stars! (I’m so full of puns today, I’m ashamed.) Ship name: Hinder. As in, a hinderance to the world. RIPPED.

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#6: Kai from The Lunar Chronicles and Ron Weasley from Harry Potter. I’m not really sure how I feel about this, but I think since I’m so impartial that I’m going to rip it. Ron would be no good at Co-Emperoring* New Bejing, anyway. Ship name: Rai. This ship is ripped!

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*Yas new word

#7: Scarlet from The Lunar Chronicles and Simon Lewis from The Mortal Instruments. Scarlet is legitimately one of my favorite heroines. She’s smart, sassy, kind, and actually reminds me quite a bit of Isabelle Lightwood, minus the fashion sense. And Simon is, of course, my adorable little vampire child that I love. I actually think that I ship this! Ship name: Scimon. YES. IT’S SHIPPED.

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#8: Luke from The Mortal Instruments and Professor Mcgonagall from Harry Potter. I’M LAUGHING LIKE A CRAZY WOMEN RIGHT NOW. Oh my goodness this is so hilarious to me. He’d be like, “I bit Clary and now she’s a werewolf, Minerva,” and she’d say something iconic like, “Have a biscuit, Garroway.” YES. THIS IS BEAUTY. Against ALL of my better judgement… I think I ship this. Oh my dear gosh. Ship name: Lukonagall. Oh my gosh. Queen Morgenstern and Lukonagall are my new OTPs and nothing can stop us from achieving fame and fortune and taking over the world. YES.

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#9: Fred Weasley from Harry Potter and George Weasley from Harry Potter. JHHGUANVIOIEJFINDJIWPOQLSKNDLJBUEORPURHVJBFJDBOURPEOUHVJC8IHPDHVFHIGQOPWEIHICVIAFGIIAIEORNOOOONONNONONONONOONOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I DON’T EVEN HAVE A GIF TO EXPRESS MY DISTRESS AND DISGUST AND HOW HORRIFIED I AM AND JUST NO. I SWEAR THIS ISN’T THAT KIND OF BLOG.

#10: Dolores Umbridge from Harry Potter and Kaz Brekker from Six of Crows. NO KAZ MY DARLING I MUST SAVE YOU FROM THIS FATE WORSE THAN DEATH. COME INTO THE SHELTERING EMBRACE OF MY ARMS AND BE SAFE NOW MY BABY CHILD. Ship name: Kazumbridge. THIS SHIP IS RIPPED.

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And finally, the Rip it or Ship it adventure has come to an end.

This was both extremely horrifying and extremely amusing

and I’m really looking forward to what

everyone else comes up with!

Comment below!

Read on, lovelies!

 

 

RIP IT OR SHIP IT PART ONE!

Ok, everyone, here it is! The promised weird post! I have decided to try my hand at the Rip it or Ship it Booktag, which to my understanding was created by the booktuber Emmabooks. I ended up writing down way too many names, so this little venture will be undergone in two parts. I’M SO EXCITED.

So basically I’ve written down a whole bunch of characters from some of my favorite books on slips of paper and stuck them in a bowl. (It’s a huge yellow bowl that belongs to my grandmother and it’s so pretty and it reminds me of the sun and someone tell me to stop talking RIGHT NOW.) I’ll mix it up, draw two of them, and then decide whether I rip them or ship them. The couples will be judged on:

  1. Compatibility. Would they love each other? Hate each other? Be adorable? Kill each other at first glance? It’s up to me.*
  2. Ship Name. Ok so I know this is trivial but… But I am Evil Queen and my word overrules all. So HA. If they have a gross, hard to say, or non Eden-Approved ship name then I will rip that couple faster than you can say Wessa. Or Jessa. Whichever one you ship.**
*Cue evil laughter.
**That one was for all you The Infernal Devices fans out there. And don’t worry. I DON’T KNOW WHICH ONE TO SHIP EITHER. I still haven’t even finished Clockwork Prince…

Are you ready? Fasten your seatbelts lovelies, for now it is time for…

Rip it or Ship it Part One!

#1: Lord Voldemort from Harry Potter and Winter Blackburn-Hayle from The Lunar Chronicles. RIP IT OH MY GOSH. PLEASE. Right off the bat this is one of the worst possible pairings that I could have drawn. Winter is so kind and sweet and gentle and Lord Voldermort is… Well… Well he’s the Dark Lord for goodness sakes! And what would their ship name even be? Lord Winter Bort? This ship is SOOOO ripped. Poor Winter.

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#2: Sebastian Morgenstern from The Mortal Instruments and Dr. John Watson from the Sherlock Holmes stories. No. No. Nononononononononononono. Never in a million years could I EVER see this working. Not only is Watson like twenty years older than Sebastian, but Sebastian is a little rat. And Sebastian would probably slit Watson’s throat in the night. And the ship name… Sebastjohn? Gah! This ship is ripped!

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#3: Clarissa Fray from the Mortal Instruments and Lucy Carlyle from Lockwood and Co. First of all, Lucy is strong and independent and kind of impatient and judgy and I think that she would become annoyed by Clary VERY quickly and like feed her to a ghost or something. If that’s possible. And Clary… She’s just so into Jace that I can’t even begin to see her with someone else. And the ship name would be Clucy. So this ship is RIPPED.

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#4: Tessa Gray from the Infernal Devices and Jace from the Mortal Instruments. I AM LITERALLY SITTING HERE IN MY BED SCREAMING MY HEAD OFF RIGHT NOW. THIS IS SO WRONG. AND I CAN’T EVEN REVEAL WHY IT’S WRONG BECAUSE OF SPOILERS, THE SAME WAY THAT IT WAS SPOILED FOR ME. SO MOVE ALONG  CHILDREN. AND THE SHIP NAME─JUST NO. NOTHING HERE TO SEE. THIS SHIP IS RIPPED HARDER THAN ANYTHING HAS EVER BEEN RIPPED BEFORE.

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#5: Draco Malfoy from Harry Potter and Sherlock Holmes from the Sherlock Holmes stories. Draclock? Sheraco? Am I ever going to ship anything? Maybe not. This ship is ripped!

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#6: Valentine Morgenstern from The Mortal Instruments and Queen Levana from the Lunar Chronicles. So Valentine is, as we all know, an evil jerk who delights in tormenting his own children and the children of others in horrifying ways. Queen Levana is an evil jerk who delights… Wait. Hold the phone. Do I… Do I ship this? I THINK I DO! Just imagine it, lovelies! They would lurk up on Luna or in some creepy basement and make evil plans together while they hated on their young relatives and they’d be so happy! And the ship name would be Queen Morgenstern which is simply amazing. Ok this might be my new OTP. #QUEENMORGENSTERN #OTP.

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#7: Severus Snape from Harry Potter and Isabelle Lightwood from The Mortal Instruments. If you held me down and threatened me with a trillion screaming chimpanzees you still couldn’t get me to ship this. Isabelle is fabulous and beautiful and YOUNG, while Snape here, while being tragic and heroic which are good things, is QUITE a bit too old for her. And the ship name would be something ghastly like Snapabelle, so this is extremely ripped.

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#8: Mr. Darcy form Pride and Prejudice and Hermione Granger from Harry Potter. I actually think this would work! Hermione is very similar to Elizabeth Bennet in that she’s intelligent, well read, emotional, practical, and stubborn─and we all know Darcy likes that. And I think Hermione would appreciate his reticence and quiet tenderness─plus they could be snobs to people together and just be generally adorable. So while I enjoy who they end up with in real life more, I think I could get behind this ship. Ship name though… Darcione─Hermarcy─Mr. Granger─gah. None of these are too good. I’ll let it go though, I suppose, in honor of the cuteness. I ship it!

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#9: Elizabeth Bennet from Pride and Prejudice and Will Herondale from The Infernal Devices. My automatic instinct is to rip this because Will isn’t allowed to be shipped with anyone that isn’t me, but the more I think about it. Grr. I’m very annoyed because I actually think this might work. Elizabeth and Tessa remind me of each other, and we all know that Will loves him some Tessa. And Will and Elizabeth could just sit there and geek out about books with each other until the cows come home, and OH MY GOSH YES I SHIP IT NOW. Ship name: Elizawill. If he can’t be mine, then I suppose the next best thing would be Lizzie Bennet.

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#10: And last but certainly not least, Magnus Bane from The Mortal Instruments and Alec Lightwood from The Mortal Instruments. THIS IS ACTUALLY REALLY MY ACTUAL OTP YA’LL. Need I say more? Malec for the win!

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I challenge

  • Charis of CharisRae
  • Bella of the Day Dreaming Damsel
  • And May of Forever and Everly

 

 

So that’s all for part 1, lovelies!

I’ll post part 2 tomorrow─barring all major

catastrophes. Comment below if you agree or

disagree with my ships!

Read on!

 

 

 

The Great Bookshelf Tour of Greatness!

Hello my favorites! I’m back! Or… mostly. I’m currently on a 9+ hour long drive back from North Carolina where I have spent the last week doing nothing and I’m on my way to a bookstore* but we won’t reach it for another 3 hours SO. I have decided to give you the post that I forgot to post before I left because #lazy.

One day I was extremely bored. (Why didn’t I just read? Have you met me? I am the least productive person I know.) So instead of doing useful things I…

Drumroll please…

Reorganized my bookshelves!

I do do this about once every blue moon, but I decided that this time I’d give a tour.**

*Be quiet. Of course I need more. Use your brain, please.

**Now you have to LISTEN TO ME SCREAM AT YOU IN ALL CAPS FOR ETERNITY! MWAHAHAHAHA!!

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I did a thing and went ahead and organized them by color instead of author or title or shape or size or thickness or the number of unicorns on the cover and I CAN’T STOP LOOKING. IT’S SO PRETTY. I feel like Gollum. I just lay on my bed and stroke them and whisper “my precioussssss” in a voice that sounds like I’ve been smoking for over fifty years. I have four bookshelves in my room (not enough, I know. Blasphemy.) and one of them has all double parked rows of just black and white books that I didn’t include pictures of because I was in the mood for beautiful, colorful rainbow things. Sorry.*

*Still actually not.

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And of course I have to include the lonely little purple section. Isn’t it a travesty how few purple books there are? Purple is a beautiful color. Valeka the dragon is purple. So is Sherlock’s shirt. I’m going to start a petition for more purple books. WHO’S WITH ME?

Moving on.

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Speaking of Sherlock… he looks so lonely. He needs John. Or me. Fine, yes, he can just have me.*

*What a catch. (Cue hysterical laughter.)

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And last but not least, my adorable little Slytherin friend posing in front of the beautiful baby blue section. (Please no hating on my for my love of Snape. I AM YOUNG AND INNOCENT.)

Well that’s it, lovelies. Sorry for the shortness of this post, but I promise the next one will be longer–and stranger. Much stranger. Are you prepared? MWAHAHAHAHA.

Sign off-less Eden.

 

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